© 2019 CITIZEN SKWITH

GENERAL ELECTION 2019

This could be the first General Election where a Loony Party candidate polls more votes than a candidate from one of the two major parties. No, seriously, why not?

Parliament is in disarray and no one can agree on anything.

So we're here, as usual, to bring some light-hearted relief to the proceedings.

We want to have a laugh. But we also want to throw some ideas into the mix that might actually work.

The Government's a bit short on those.

We'll bring the divided nation together by building an invisible bridge between The Leavers and The Remainers.

It won't cost the taxpayer a penny.

We'll replace Trident with Trifle, because we don't want to blow the world up, we want to cheer it up.

All the money saved will go straight to the NHS (around £2 billion a year).

We'll clean up the political landscape with a ban on mud-slinging.

We've all had enough of that.

We'll break the two party monopoly on Parliament by dropping The First Past the Post system, lowering the voting age to 16, and giving votes to pets.

We're more than just a protest vote.

We might turn out to be the most sensible choice you've got.

Things can't get any dafter than they already are.

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